Break-ups. Almost everyone has gone through one at some time or another. While it’s easy to feel as though the world is ending when a relationship does, people do get through the difficult time and become happy and content once more. Following are some tips for getting through the difficult time ahead.
Don’ts for the End of a Relationship
Try not to make huge life decisions right after splitting up with a long-term partner. While it can be tempting to turn an entire life around at this time, in the midst of personal chaos is not the best time to sell a house, relocate to a new city, or quit a job. For those that feel the need for a change, stick to smaller things, like a dramatic new haircut or color, or redoing a room of the house.
Refrain from taking revenge on former partners. It might feel good temporarily to throw all of an ex’s belongings into the street or tell his or her mother about her child’s stint as an exotic dancer. But don’t. In the end, ding things like this says more about the person seeking revenge than it does about the intended target.
As hard as it is, it’s much better in the long run to take the high road and act mature, no matter what the provocation. Right now, tempers are running hot, and revenge may come back to bite the person who commits it. In time, it may be possible for exes to be friends, and hasty acts now can make that an impossibility. Also, there are reasons two people are together in the first place, try to keep in mind the kindness this person showed on birthdays, or at a loved one’s funeral, and don’t throw his laptop out the window.
Do not call an ex right after a break-up. For those who do the breaking up, the following days can be filled with regret and doubts. It can be tempting to call the other person and ask him to just forget the whole thing. Try to remember the reasons why it seemed like the right thing to do, and give the other person a little time and space to heal before picking up the phone, as otherwise, this can lead to more hurt and confusion on his part.
The only exception to this, (unless there are children in common involved, in which case of course the two people must speak), is if the break-up was a spontaneous act that was quickly discovered to be hasty and wrong. For the person at the receiving end of a break-up, don’t call, period!
Don’t jump right into another relationship. Allow time to get over one partner before rushing on to the next. Figuring out what went wrong in the last relationship before choosing someone new also increases the chances that the next relationship will go better.
Things to Do After a Relationship Ends
Allow plenty of time for self-care. Take long walks, hot baths, watch silly movies, whatever it is that will make this time easier and less stressful. Spend time with family and friends. It’s important to remember, especially at this time, that each person has many unique qualities that make him or her special and wonderful.
Write in a journal or talk to a friend about painful feelings. If there is still difficulty adjusting to life without the other person, consider seeing a counselor to help sort out feelings.
The end of a relationship is never easy, but there are ways to make it more manageable. Good self-care, spending time with loved ones, and being the bigger person when it comes to an ex-partner can all make the transition to being a single smoother.